Wildlife Quotations

Canine

The Quippery

In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food.
– Billy Crystal –

Suburban foxes are not simply tame towards men. They are also damn supercilious. One pads amongst the azaleas in our garden at night, staring through the lounge windows to watch the News at Ten.
– Richard Gordon –

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
– Oscar Wilde –

There are, of course, several things in Ontario that are more dangerous than wolves. For instance, the step-ladder.
– J.W. Curran –

Cervidae

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
– From Snopes Reindeer Games

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns.
– Gilbert William –

Due to the shape of the North American elk’s esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna.
– Cliff Claven, Cheers TV Show –

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers. I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time…
– Ellen DeGeneres –

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. In fact, a moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.
– Bill Bryson – Notes from a Big Country –

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
– Ellen DeGeneres –

I beg your pardon, but I am eating up your garden.
– The White-tailed Deer –

It’s one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!… That’s a real talent.
― Josh Stern, And That’s Why I’m Single –

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing ‘Embraceable You’ in spats.
– Woody Allen –

Feline

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
– Woody Allen –

General

Four legs good, two legs bad.
– George Orwell, Animal Farm –

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
– Charles Darwin –

It’s so weird all the different names they have for groups of animals. They have pride of lions, school of fish, rack of lamb. . .
– Ellen DeGeneres –

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
– Alexei Sayle –

Monkeys and Apes

When you cross a gorilla and a mink you get a beautiful coat – but the sleeves are too long!
– Author Unknown –

Other

Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?”
“Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”
– A.A. Milne –

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinosauruses
I only likes hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me, too.
– John Rox, Sung by Gayla Peevey –

No one in the world needs a mink coat but a mink.
– Murray Banks –

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.
– Carl Sandburg –

Reptile

Notice – It’s easy to forget that your original objective was to drain the swamp when you are up to your neck in alligators.
– Sign at Gatorland, Florida –

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
― Steve Irwin –

Ursidae

I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu… But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.
– Author Unknown –

Support your right to arm bears.
– Cleveland Amory –