Category: Health

Love the Skin You’re In

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
– Ann Landers (1918-2002) –

Beauty comes in all sizes, not just size 5.
– Roseanne Barr –

Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery.
– G. B. Trudeau –

Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can’t put on make-up, or dress yourself, or do you hair with any sort of fun or joy if you’re doing it from a position of correction.
– Kevyn Aucoin –

But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants –

Gray hairs seem to my fancy like the soft light of the moon, silvering over the evening of life.
– Jean Paul Richter –

Hair color changes your looks, not your life.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

How to have a beach body: 1. Have a body 2. Go to the beach.
– Author Unknown –

I’d rather be thought of as smart, capable, strong, and compassionate than beautiful. Those things all persist long after beauty fades.
– Cassandra Duffy –

I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese, I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.
– Elizabeth Gilbert –

I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde.
– Dolly Parton –

Is “fat” really the worst thing a human being can be? Is “fat” worse than “vindictive”, “jealous”, “shallow”, “vain”, “boring” or “cruel”? Not to me.
I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls.
– J.K. Rowling –

Knowing the shape of your face is not the key to happiness.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

Living Large Cocktail: ¼ Dreams, ¼ Goals, ¼ Action, ¼ Courage
– Kerstin Wyman, EzineArticles –

My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being ‘normal’ is not necessarily a virtue? It sometimes rather denotes a lack of courage.
– Aunt Frances, Wild Woman Sisterhood –

My great hope for us as young women is to start being kinder to ourselves so that we can be kinder to each other. To stop shaming ourselves and other people for things we don’t know the full story on—whether someone is too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too loud, too quiet, too anything. There’s a sense that we’re all ‘too’ something, and we’re all not enough.
– Emma Stone –

People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don’t know, I’m never there.
– Dolly Parton –

Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance.
– John Ruskin –

Ring the bells that still can ring,
forget your perfect offering,
there’s a crack in everything,
that’s how the light gets in.
– Leonard Cohen –

Screw Beautiful. Women are smart, talented, thoughtful, generous, strong, understanding, creative, fun, courageous, curious… or any of the other descriptions people use to compliment men.
– Margy –

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
– –

Step Away from the Mean Girls… …and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.
Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others.
– Author Unknown –

The chances of meeting someone with Barbie’s human-scale measurements (36-18-33) is 1 in 100,000. The chances of meeting someone with Ken’s is 1 in 50.
– Author Unknown –

The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are- bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling- when you don’t feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.
– Charles Handy –

There is nothing wrong with your body, but there is a lot wrong with the messages that try to convince you otherwise.
– Rae Smith –

This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.
– Oprah Winfrey –

We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.
– Olin Miller –

Women’s liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she’s attractive to the opposite sex.
– Earl Wilson –

Weight and Diet

The Quippery

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.
– Alexander Woodcott –

Amazing. You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.
– Author Unknown –

Ewes not fat, ewes fluffy.
– Author Unknown –

I am in shape. Round is a shape.
– Author Unknown –

I asked the clothing store clerk if she had anything to make me look thinner, and she said, “How about a week in Bangladesh?”
– Roseanne Barr –

I figured out Victoria’s secret. Starvation and liposuction.
– Mel Fine –

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.
– Elmer Rice –

I hate 4 letter words… diet – dust – cook – wash – iron.
– Author Unknown –

I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
– Author Unknown –

I’m fat, but I’m thin inside. Has it ever struck you that there’s a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there’s a statue inside every block of stone.
– George Orwell –

I’m not fat! Just a little hippoglycemic.
– Author Unknown –

I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.
– Shelley Winters –

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
– Author Unknown –

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.
– Ellen DeGeneres –

Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.
I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls.
– J.K. Rowling –

I put on the fat suit and went outside and walked around. I was really nervous about being found out, but nobody would even make eye contact with me. It really upset me.
We feel it’s unacceptable to be fat, when it has nothing to do with who the person actually is.
– Gwyneth Paltrow –

I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
– Erma Bombeck –

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.
– Totie Fields –

My body knows what I shouldn’t eat – but usually doesn’t tell me until after I’ve eaten it.
– Ashleigh Brilliant –

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.
– Dan Bennett –

Reality is the woman who got out of your bed this morning and recognized that the figure in the mirror may never be rated a perfect 10 or even a size 10.
– Jan Larkey –

Self-delusion is pulling in your stomach when you step on the scales.
– Paul Sweeney –

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat.
– Author Unknown –

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books — how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
– Andy Rooney –

The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down into the mezzanine floor.
– P.G. Wodehouse –

This morning, in 1976, Stephanie (Fats) Stumflug found she had granolaed herself right out of her caftan. Couldn’t pry it on with a shoehorn. The trouble – she explained to anyone who would listen – was that the side of the granola box said only 125 calories per ounce, but the pretty picture showed a generous bowlful… actually about 5 ounces, if she’d ever weighed a generous bowlful, but she never did. “I might have known,” she said bitterly. “You can’t trust anything that tastes good.”
– Peg Bracken –

Time, obviously, is relative. Two weeks on a vacation is not the same as two weeks on a diet.
– Author Unknown –

Unnecessary dieting is because everything from television to fashion ads has made it seem wicked to cast a shadow. This wild emaciated look appeals to some women, though not to many men, who are seldom seen pinning up a Vogue illustration in a machine shop.
– Peg Bracken –



30 is a nice age for a woman – especially if she happens to be 40.
– Author Unknown –

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
– Author Unknown –

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
– Helen Hayes –

Age lets you be the person you would have been, if you hadn’t been so busy being the person you were earlier in life.
– Margy –

Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.
– Douglas MacArthur –

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
– Jim Fiebig –

Age is like the newest version of a software — it has a bunch of great new features but you lost all the cool features the original version had.
– Carrie Latet –

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie, news summaries, 9 March 1954 –

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
– Erma Bombeck –

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
– author Unknown –

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
– Ann Landers (1918-2002) –

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.
– George Orwell –

At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.
– George Burns –

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

By the time I’d grown up, I naturally supposed that I’d grown up.
– Eve Babitz –

Don’t panic, 40 is only 11 in scrabble
– Author Unknown –

Don’t regret growing old. It’s a privilege denied to many.
– 60 Minutes –

Forget health food. I’m at an age where I need all the preservatives I can get.
– Author Unknown –

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
– Chili Davis –

Here I am, fifty eight, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
– Peter Drucker –

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?
– Satchel Paige –

I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
– Author Unknown –

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred.
– Thomas Alva Edison –

If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
– Author Unknown –

I’m old enough to know better and I’m still too young to care.
– Wade Hayes –

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
– Jennifer Yane –

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
– Brigitte Bardot –

It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had.
– Robert Brault –

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don’t want to do them.
– Lady Nancy Astor –

I was 29 until I became 65.
-Aleta Williams, 82, Columnist, The Evening News, Pictou County

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
– Erma Bombeck –

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.
– Dan Bennett –

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
– Bennett Cerf –

Middle age is that time of life when you can feel bad in the morning without having had fun the night before.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
– Joseph E. Cossman –

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
– Ogden Nash –

Mid-life means that you become more reflective…You start pondering the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?”
– Author Unknown –

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
– Bette Davis –

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes –

Old guys: more and more intelligence focused on smaller and smaller problems.
– John Jerome –

One of the best things about getting older: knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak.
– Author Unknown –

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked.
– Pearl S. Buck –

Remember, if forty-five is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of a woman’s second adulthood.
– Gail Sheehy –

Someday us old folks will use cursive writing as a secret code.
– Author Unknown –

The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.
– Arthur Schopen-hauer –

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
– Madeleine L’Engle –

The elderly don’t drive that badly; they’re just the only ones with time to do the speed limit.
– Jason Love –

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
– Author Unknown –

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven’t changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don’t change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.
– Doris Lessing –

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
– Madeleine L’Engle –

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
– Helen Hayes –

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
– Oscar Wilde

The older I get, the simpler the definition of maturity seems: It’s the length of time between when I realize someone is a jackass and when I tell them that they’re one.
– Brett Butler –

The older you get, the more important it is not to act your age.
– Ashleigh Brilliant –

There is no pleasure worth forgoing, just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
– John Mortimer –

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
– Author Unknown –

The secret of staying younger is to live honestly, eat slowly, and just lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball –

The youth gathers together his materials to build a bridge to the moon… and at length, the middle-age man concludes to build a woodshed with them.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Today we are younger than we are going to be tomorrow.
– Harvey H. Potthoff –

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.
– Thomas Bailey Aldrich –

To me, old age is 15 years older than I am.
– Bernard M. Baruch –

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers –

When the problem is not so much resisting temptation as finding it, you may just be getting older.
– Author Unknown –

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
– Tom Wilson –

With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the paragraphs.
– James Thurber –

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
– Franklin P. Adams –

You can’t stay young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
– Author Unknown –

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
– Bob Hope –

You know you’re getting old when you’re more attractive hanging upside down.
– Cathy Ladman –

You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap.
– Author Unknown –

You know you’re growing old when… the gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife… your back goes out more than you do… your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by… you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going… everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work… the gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
– Author Unknown –

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
– Author Unknown –

You’re middle-aged if you can remember when radios plugged in, and toothbrushes didn’t.
– Author Unknown –