All posts filed under: Household

Housework

A messy house is a happy home! Bullshit. How many smiling kids have your seen on Hoarders? 1. Log off Facebook 2. Clean your house. – rottencards – Based on the amount of laundry I do each week, I’m going to assume there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet. – Author Unknown – Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller – Don’t refluff the guest towels – just admit that you used them. – Dee Ann Stewart – Secrets to a Simpler Life – Do not take the chill off the room by turning the iron to the cotton setting. – Erma Bombeck – Due to circumstances beyond our control, our butler and maid have resigned. Your cooperation in helping to keep this place clean will be greatly appreciated. – Author Unknown – Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed… and clean the whole house while she …

Money, Shopping and Spending

Advertising is what makes you think you longed all your life for something you’ve never heard of before. – Author Unknown — All I ask is the chance to prove that money can buy happiness. – Author Unknown – As a businessman, he seems to have dedicated his life to the proposition that where selling to the public is concerned no idea is too stupid. (Referring to Bernard MacFadden) – Bill Bryson – At 20 I wanted to save the world. Now I’d be satisfied just to save part of my salary. – H.G. Hutchison – At a dinner party: I came from a well-to-do family. My mother was always saying, “Well, to do that, you’ll need more money.” – Cathryn Baker Hopkins – At the ATM they ask if you’d like to conduct your business in English or Spanish. I suggest you try Spanish, because your account balance will look much better in pesos. – Tere Joyce – Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. – Robin Williams – …

Clothing

A Guide to Self Service Shoe Shopping: 1. If they hurt like hell they’re too small. 2. If they fall off they’re too big. – Brantano Footwear – Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper’s Bazaar while waiting at the dentist’s to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, “Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won’t Be Naked.” – Molly Ivins – Amazing. You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes. – Cartoon Caption – ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. – Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary – As long as you’re doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house. – Bart Simpson – Based on the amount of laundry I do each week I’m going to assume there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet. – Author Unknown …