All posts filed under: People Feelings

Religion and Spirituality

A country church – people wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were trout or northern pike. – Author Unknown – A country church – the only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash. – Author Unknown – And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corner of the world. Then He made the earth round… and laughed and laughed and laughed. – Themetapicture.com – Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people. – Eleanor Roosevelt – Even if you don’t believe a word of the Bible, you’ve got to respect the person who typed all that. – Lotus Weinstock – For when the One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, He writes – not that you won …

Love and Marriage

A bachelor asked a computer dating service to find him the perfect mate: “I want a companion who is small, and cute, loves water sports and enjoys group activities.” Back came the answer: “Marry a penguin.” – Author Unknown – A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. – Helen Rowland – A Marriage Made in Heaven or Too Tired for an Affair – Erma Bombeck, Book Title – American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers. – Somerset Maugham – An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie – A smart husband is one who saves all the barbershop gossip until after dinner – so that his wife will help him with the dishes. – Edna May Bush – Be the one person who’s found a second use for a bridesmaid’s dress. – Dee Ann …

Friends

A false friend and a shadow stay around only while the sun shines. – Benjamin Franklin – A friend is somebody who knows all about you and likes you anyway. – Author Unknown – A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – Erma Bombeck – An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. – Jim Hayes – Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. – W.H. Auden – A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. – Bernard Meltzer – Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most. – American Proverb – Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl’s best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. – Author Unknown – Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow …

Genealogy

A modern mother was explaining to her little girl about pictures in the family photo album. The mother said, “This is the geneticist with your surrogate mother and here’s your sperm donor and your father’s clone. This is me holding you when you were just a frozen embryo.” “Who is that?” asked the daughter. “Oh,”” answered the mother, “The lady with the very troubled look on her face is your aunt. She’s the family genealogist!” – Author Unknown – Family trees are self-pruners… everyone dies in the end! – Author Unknown – Family tree? Ours is a shrub! – The Gene Pool: JTR’s Colorful Family History – Found a Yankee in my tree – will trade for horse thief or black sheep. – Author Unknown – Genealogy: an attempt to prove the theory of relativity. – Mary Kearns Trace – Genealogists diet: Fiche and Ships topped with tantalizing Sources. – abaysview – He ain’t heavy – he’s my brother’s aunt’s sister’s husband. – Author Unknown – If your family tree doesn’t fork? You might be …

Death and Cemetery

Funeral, Burial and Cemetery According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. – Jerry Seinfeld – Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can’t come. – Michael Gold (Jeff Goldblum), The Big Chill (1983) – Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening. – William J. Clinton – Cemetery: (n) A marble orchard not to be taken for granite. – Author Unknown – Don’t carry me off in a brass-handled coffin With a wreath on my chest I won’t be ‘at rest’ There’s nothing much worse than a ride in a hearse To a hole in the ground with just strangers around No! bury me deep in the compost heap Or pop me right under a nice floribunda Its …

Babies and Children

A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly. – Author Unknown – A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn’t act that way very often. – Author Unknown – A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. – Erma Bombeck – A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good cat. – Author Unknown – All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. – Erma Bombeck – Although there are many trial marriages, there is no such thing as a trial child. – G. Willis – Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days. – Flannery O’Connor – Anyone who thinks …