30 is a nice age for a woman – especially if she happens to be 40.
– Author Unknown –

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
– Author Unknown –

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
– Helen Hayes –

Age lets you be the person you would have been, if you hadn’t been so busy being the person you were earlier in life.
– Margy –

Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.
– Douglas MacArthur –

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
– Jim Fiebig –

Age is like the newest version of a software — it has a bunch of great new features but you lost all the cool features the original version had.
– Carrie Latet –

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie, news summaries, 9 March 1954 –

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
– Erma Bombeck –

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
– author Unknown –

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
– Ann Landers (1918-2002) –

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.
– George Orwell –

At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.
– George Burns –

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

By the time I’d grown up, I naturally supposed that I’d grown up.
– Eve Babitz –

Don’t panic, 40 is only 11 in scrabble
– Author Unknown –

Don’t regret growing old. It’s a privilege denied to many.
– 60 Minutes –

Forget health food. I’m at an age where I need all the preservatives I can get.
– Author Unknown –

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
– Chili Davis –

Here I am, fifty eight, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
– Peter Drucker –

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?
– Satchel Paige –

I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
– Author Unknown –

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred.
– Thomas Alva Edison –

If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
– Author Unknown –

I’m old enough to know better and I’m still too young to care.
– Wade Hayes –

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
– Jennifer Yane –

It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
– Brigitte Bardot –

It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had.
– Robert Brault –

I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don’t want to do them.
– Lady Nancy Astor –

I was 29 until I became 65.
-Aleta Williams, 82, Columnist, The Evening News, Pictou County

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
– Erma Bombeck –

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.
– Dan Bennett –

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
– Bennett Cerf –

Middle age is that time of life when you can feel bad in the morning without having had fun the night before.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
– Author Unknown –

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
– Joseph E. Cossman –

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
– Ogden Nash –

Mid-life means that you become more reflective…You start pondering the “big” questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?”
– Author Unknown –

Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
– Bette Davis –

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes –

Old guys: more and more intelligence focused on smaller and smaller problems.
– John Jerome –

One of the best things about getting older: knowing someone is an asshole before they even speak.
– Author Unknown –

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked.
– Pearl S. Buck –

Remember, if forty-five is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of a woman’s second adulthood.
– Gail Sheehy –

Someday us old folks will use cursive writing as a secret code.
– Author Unknown –

The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.
– Arthur Schopen-hauer –

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
– Madeleine L’Engle –

The elderly don’t drive that badly; they’re just the only ones with time to do the speed limit.
– Jason Love –

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
– Author Unknown –

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven’t changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don’t change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.
– Doris Lessing –

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
– Madeleine L’Engle –

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
– Helen Hayes –

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
– Oscar Wilde

The older I get, the simpler the definition of maturity seems: It’s the length of time between when I realize someone is a jackass and when I tell them that they’re one.
– Brett Butler –

The older you get, the more important it is not to act your age.
– Ashleigh Brilliant –

There is no pleasure worth forgoing, just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
– John Mortimer –

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
– Author Unknown –

The secret of staying younger is to live honestly, eat slowly, and just lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball –

The youth gathers together his materials to build a bridge to the moon… and at length, the middle-age man concludes to build a woodshed with them.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Today we are younger than we are going to be tomorrow.
– Harvey H. Potthoff –

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.
– Thomas Bailey Aldrich –

To me, old age is 15 years older than I am.
– Bernard M. Baruch –

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers –

When the problem is not so much resisting temptation as finding it, you may just be getting older.
– Author Unknown –

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
– Tom Wilson –

With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the paragraphs.
– James Thurber –

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
– Franklin P. Adams –

You can’t stay young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
– Author Unknown –

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
– Bob Hope –

You know you’re getting old when you’re more attractive hanging upside down.
– Cathy Ladman –

You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap.
– Author Unknown –

You know you’re growing old when… the gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife… your back goes out more than you do… your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by… you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going… everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work… the gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
– Author Unknown –

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
– Author Unknown –

You’re middle-aged if you can remember when radios plugged in, and toothbrushes didn’t.
– Author Unknown –



A cat, our new Maine friends claimed, is always on the wrong side of the door.
– Allen & Ivy Dodd –

After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.
– Charlotte Gray –

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it.
– Henry David Thoreau –

A tortoise-shell cat having a fit in a platter of tomatoes…(description of Turner’s painting
‘The Slave Ship’)
– Mark Twain –

Am writing an essay on the life-history of insects and have abandoned the idea of writing on ‘How Cats Spend their time’.
– W.N.P Barbellion –

Anybody can herd cattle, but holding together ten thousand half-wild shorthairs – well, that’s another thing altogether.
– EDS Commercial –

As a kitten, this cat never slept on the outside of the bed. She waited until I was in it, then she walked all over me, considering possibilities.
– Doris Lessing –

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
– Ellen Perry Berkely –

Cat hair adheres to everything but the cat.
– Author Unknown –

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
– Garrison Keillor –

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
– Joseph Wood Krutch –

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
– Jeff Valdez –

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
– Joseph Wood Krutch –

Chasing the cat is more fun than catching it.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

Dogs may fawn on all and some
As they come;
You, a friend of loftier mind,
Answer friends alone in kind;
Just your foot upon my hand
Softly bids it understand.
– Algernon Charles Swinburne – A Poem About Cats –

How beautiful it is to do nothing and then rest afterwards.
– Spanish Proverb –

I always explain to our cats that if I discover them catching baby chicks I will donate them to the National Bureau of Standards, where they will live out the rest of their lives helping to determine the exact size of rooms not big enough to swing a cat in…
– John F. Adams –

I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
– SnarkECards –

I don’t think it is so much the actual bath that most cats dislike; I think it’s the fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back in place.
– Debbie Peterson –

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because the water is cold in there. And I’m like, how did my mother know that?
– Wendy Liebman –

I had my cat neutered. He’s still out all night with the other cats, but now it’s only as a consultant.
– Author Unknown –

If Cats could talk, they wouldn’t.
-Nan Porter –

If somebody calls you and you don’t care to come and still don’t wish to make it a direct insult – wash.
– Author Unknown –

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
– Mark Twain –

If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
– Cynthia Copeland Lewis –

If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.
– Author Unknown –

In ancient times, cats were worshiped as Gods; they have not forgotten this.
– Terry Pratchett –

It may be said on behalf of a recently developed robot cat that it needs no food, drink or litter box. Controlled by a microchip, it is capable of purring, crying when spoken to and even rolling in various directions at the owner’s handclap. Call that a cat? Unless they can program it to come home with a half-chewed ear, drop a dead mouse at your feet and stalk contemptuously from the room, it’s an imposter. If it does anything on human demand, it’s no cat.
– Author Unknown –

It’s really the cat’s house – we just pay the mortgage.
– Author Unknown –

I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue. “Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it.” She looks up and gives me her full gaze. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she purrs, “I wrote it.”
– Dilys Laing, “Miao” –

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives.
– Stephen Baker

Kittens play with yarn – they bat it around. What they’re really saying is, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!
– Author Unknown –

My cat may manipulate me psychologically, but he’ll never type or play piano.
– Stephen J. Gould –

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
– Author Unknown –

Never try to outstubborn a cat.
– Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love –

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
– Leo Dworken –

The cat sitting at the keyboard of the computer explains to the cat watching: “So far I’ve discovered I was in a litter of eight and my mother’s name was Fluffy!”
– Author Unknown – comment about Genealogy Research –

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domestic animal.
– Compton MacKenzie –

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
– Paula Poundstone –

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Author Unknown –

This time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
– Lewis Caroll –

When I am playing with my cat, how do I know she is not playing with me?
– Michel de Montaigne –

With the qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of being cats?
– Fernand Mery –

Truth, Knowledge and Learning

11-understand The Quippery

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
– Mark Twain –

As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
– Donald Rumsfeld, while serving as George W. Bush’s Secretary of Defense –

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please.
– Mark Twain –

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
– Author Unknown –

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
– Mark Twain –

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
– Robert McCloskey –

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
– P.J. O’Rourke –

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
– James Thurber –

Ideas don’t stay in some minds very long because they don’t like solitary confinement.
– Unknown

If there’s something going on out there that I don’t know about, I think I’d know about it.
– William Shatner, TekWar –

Just when you think you’ve got all the answers, they change the questions.
– Author Unknown –

Logic is a large drawer, containing some useful instruments, and many more that are superfluous. A wise man will look into it for two purposes, to avail himself of those instruments that are really useful, and to admire the ingenuity with which those that are not so, are assorted and arranged.
– Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon –

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
– Winston S. Churchill –

No one now dies of fatal truths: there are too many antidotes to them.
– Nietzsche’s Human, all too Human –

…nobody really likes capers no matter what you do with them. Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it, tastes even better with capers not in it.
– Nora Ephron –

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
– Doug Larson –

On an important decision one rarely has 100% of the information needed for a good decision no matter how much one spends or how long one waits. And, if one waits too long, he has a different problem and has to start all over.”
– Robert K. Greenleaf, Servant As Leader –

Some so speak in exaggerations and superlatives that we need to make a large discount from their statements before we can come at their real meaning.
– Tryon Edwards –

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
– Farmers Almanac, 1997, Volume 180 –

The little girl had the making of a poet in her, who, being told to be sure of her meaning before she spoke, said, “How can I know what I think till I see what I say?”
– Graham Wallas –

The researches of many commentators have already thrown much darkness on this subject, and it is probable that, if they continue, we shall soon know nothing at all about it.
– Mark Twain –

The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?

There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
– ANAÏS NIN, diary, Fall 1943 –

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who do.
– Robert K. Mueller –

Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.
-Leo Tolstoy –

We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

Meals, Cooking and Eating

10-hamburger-surprise The Quippery

A good cook needs storage, a bad cook needs a dog.
– IKEA sign in a store –

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven’t yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?
– Bill Bryson –

Anyone eating an entire can of albacore white tuna packed in water for a snack must be prepared to work out financial arrangements.
– Erma Bombeck –

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.
– L.M. Boyd –

A person who observes the rules of proper nutrition is a person who should never be placed in charge of a barbecue.
– Dave Barry –

Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what’s for lunch.
– Orson Welles –

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
– Fran Lebowitz –

At a dinner party: “I came from a well-to-do family. My mother was always saying, “Well, to do that, you’ll need more money.”
– Cathryn Baker Hopkins –

Behind every successful man there’s a woman saying: “What do you mean you’re going to be late for dinner?”
– Robert Orben –

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarfs began to suspect ‘Hungry’…
– Gary Larson, The Far Side –

Chaos is six women plus one luncheon check.
– Author Unknown –

Chili is much improved by having had a day to contemplate its fate.
– John Gordon Steele –

Chinese food – you do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.
– Henry Beard –

Condiments are like old friends – highly thought of, but often taken for granted.
– Marilyn Kaytor –

Cookbook – Service manual for the kitchen.
– Author Unknown –

Cooking is love made visible.
-Author Unknown –

Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
– Author Unknown –

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
– Author Unknown –

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
– Author Unknown –

Eat Now – Pay Waiter.
– Author Unknown –

Family dinners are more often than not an ordeal of nervous indigestion, preceded by hidden resentment and ennui and accompanied by psychosomatic jitters.
– M.F.K. Fisher –

Fight tooth decay – eat through your nose.
– Author Unknown –

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
– Erma Bombeck –

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn’t show up.
– Dr. Seuss –

If a recipe calls for a double boiler, turn the page in the cookbook.
– Dee Ann Stewart, Secrets to a Simpler Life –

If we could train ourselves to breathe through our ears, we could put our faces right down into the soup and not require spoons.
– Author Unknown –

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
– Author Unknown –

If you don’t have kids, don’t go places where they eat for free.
– Dee Ann Stewart, Secrets to a Simpler Life –

I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.
– Martha Harrison –

I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.
– Mitch Hedberg –

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I’d let just about everybody in except the English.
– Calvin Trillin –

In Mexico we have a word for sushi – bait.
– Jose Simon –

In those days, at least in my small town, parents didn’t seem to worry so much about what their kids were doing as long as they made it home in time for dinner.
– K. Martin Beckner, Chips of Red Paint –

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
– Author Unknown –

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
– John Mortimer –

Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
– Lec Stanislaus –

I suffer from entertaining anxiety… a fear that I can’t juggle the timing of three things alchemically transforming themselves in dangerously hot places.
– Dominique Browning –

I understand the concept of Cooking and Cleaning – just not how it pertains to me.
– Sign in a store –

Jenning’s Corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
– Author Unknown –

Last night we went to a Chinese dinner at six and a French dinner at nine, and I can feel the sharks’ fins navigating unhappily in the Burgundy.
– Peter Fleming –

Life is like an 6-slice apple pie at a 12-guest dinner banquet. If you just sit back and wait for it to come to you, chances are, you’re going to miss dessert.
― Donald L. Hicks, Look into the stillness –

Luncher is a combo of lunch and dinner. Too late for lunch, but too early for dinner. Trademark pending.
― Gena Showalter, The One You Want –

Meat is murder, but fish is justifiable homicide.
– Jeremy Hardy –

Most of you are familiar with the four basic food groups:
1. Food that causes heart attacks
2. Food that causes cancer
3. Food that causes strokes, and
4. Food that’s bland but harmless, unless you choke on it.
– Jim Kokoris –

Mother to child at the dinner table: “It seems like yesterday we practically had to hit you over the head to get you to eat your vegetables. Now all of a sudden you’re a vegetarian.”
– Joe E. Buresch –

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
― Orson Welles –

My idea of feng shui is to have them arrange the pepperoni in a circle on my pizza.
– Author Unknown –

Never eat more than you can lift.
– Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life –

O’Reilly’s Law of the kitchen – Cleanliness is next to impossible.
– Arthur Bloch –

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
– Mark Twain –

Shake and shake the catsup bottle.
None will come, and then a lot’ll.
– Richard Armour –

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing.
– Author Unknown –

The Chinese also think in a particular way because of the way they cook. The meal passes on to the members of the family a certain insight into history, family ties, holidays, celebrations – in short, into one’s place in the scheme of things.
– Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet –

The first thing I remember liking, that liked me back, was food.
– Rhoda Morgenstern –

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
– Calvin Trillin –

There is no known navy-blue food. If there is navy-blue food in the refrigerator, it signifies death.
– Erma Bombeck –

There is one thing I have never taught my body to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
– Erma Bombeck –

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.
– George Miller –

Well, dinner would have been splendid…if the wine had been as cold as the soup, the beef as rare as the service, the brandy as old as the fish, and the maid as willing as the Duchess.
– Sir Winston Churchill –

Woman serving dinner to husband: “It’s a hamburger surprise. You had it yesterday and the day before, and you certainly didn’t expect to get it tonight.”
– Jerry Marcus –

Young woman to friend: “I thought about a meaningful relationship with Bob, but then I found it involved cooking.”
– Author Unknown –

You might be a redneck if … your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
– Jeff Foxworthy –

Facebook Is Not Your Friend

9-facebook The Quippery

And then alcohol said ‘Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious.” But alcohol was wrong. So very wrong.
– Author Unknown –

All I know is that I carried you for nine months. I fed you, I clothed you, I paid for your college education. Friending me on Facebook seems like a small thing to ask in return.
– Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home –

Dear Facebook: Adding an ‘Unfriend until Election Day” option would save me a lot of time.
– someecards –

Facebook is kind of like prison. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know.
– Authors Unknown –

Facebook is like a fridge. Even though you know nothing new is going on, you still go and aimlessly check every 10 minutes.
– Author Unknown –

Facebook is not your friend, it is a surveillance engine.
– Richard Stallman –

Facebook is the perfect platform for constructive political discourse… said no one, ever.
– Megan Bailey –

Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can update your relationship status. After 3, it should default to ‘Unstable’.
– Author Unknown –

If anything, social media has driven us further apart. On top of the filter bubbles that push us toward more extreme and entrenched beliefs, social media has become an environment fueled by outrage.
Outrage is viral, outrage is easy, and with anonymity — or at least distance — screaming your outrage on social media or even launching personal attacks carries no consequences.
As outrage has come to be the dominant culture of social media, what started as a way to connect people has largely become a way to attack people or simply express anger.
– Francisco Dao – Fueled by Outrage –

If you can’t stop thinking about someone’s update, that’s called “status cling.
– Jessica Park, Flat-Out Love

If you get a friend request from someone named Jeremiah, it’s okay to accept it. He’s a bullfrog. He’s a good friend of mine. You won’t understand a single word he says, but he has some mighty fine wine…
– Internet –

It’s a highly deceptive world, one that constantly asks you to comment but doesn’t really care what you have to say.
– David Levithan, Two Boys Kissing –

It’s going to be interesting to watch presidential elections in around 2040, when voters can dig up candidates’ teenage angst pics and posts from old social media and discussion forum archives.
– Mikko Hypponen –


Leaving Facebook is the adult version of running away from home. You are only doing it for attention, and everyone knows you’ll be back.
– Author Unknown –

Never before has a generation so diligently recorded themselves accomplishing so little.
– Author Unknown –

One day Youtube, Twitter and Facebook will join together and be called… Youtwitface.
– Author Unknown –

One of the reasons I use Facebook is to laugh, have fun and converse with my friends and family. I don’t use it to get worked up or stressed out over something I see that I disagree with. There’s enough political coverage in the mainstream media. More than enough.
– Scott Dickson –

Political commentary and social cause posts on Facebook – makes me long for the good old days of Farmville requests and pictures of cats.
– Author Unknown –

Recently thought of deleting my Facebook account and start using Twitter, but realized it’s not easy. Facebook has become like the boyfriend I no longer like but scared to dump because I’ve invested so much time in the relationship.
– Manasa Rao Saarloos, author –

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the hell are you?
– Author Unknown –

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.
– Author Unknown –

That one little phrase, Your real friends—so quaint, so charmingly mothering—perfectly encapsulates the anxieties that social media have produced: the fears that Facebook is interfering with our real friendships, distancing us from each other, making us lonelier; and that social networking might be spreading the very isolation it seemed designed to conquer.
– The Atlantic – Is Facebook Making Us Lonely? –

There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson –

We post content that isn’t ours, for likes that aren’t real, to impress people we don’t know.
– Author Unknown –

You may have friends on Facebook, but Facebook is not your friend. It wants your money. It wants your information. It wants your time.
– Tom Searcy, CBS Moneywatch –


The QuipperyI cannot walk through the suburbs in the solitude of the night without thinking that the night pleases us because it suppresses idle details, just as our memory does.
– Jorge Luis Borges –

My boyfriend, like a lot of men, takes great pride in his car. Honey, his car is detailed, waxed, and vacuumed weekly. On the other hand, my car looks like a really big purse.
– Diane Nichols –

Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.
– Jean-Paul Sartre –

Our life is frittered away by detail…. Simplify, simplify.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Someone asked someone who was about my age: “How are you?” The answer was, “Fine. If you don’t ask for details.”
– Katharine Hepburn –

The English light is so very subtle, so very soft and misty, that the architecture responded with great delicacy of detail.
– Stephen Gardiner –

The essence of success is that it is never necessary to think of a new idea oneself. It is far better to wait until somebody else does it, and then to copy him in every detail, except his mistakes.
– Aubrey Menen –

The knives of jealousy are honed on details.
– Ruth Rendell –

“Well, we were always going to fail that one,” said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner’s reflection.
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix –

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings.
– Dave Barry –

Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld-

Books, Writing and Reading

7-book The Quippery

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking about what to write.
– Author Unknown-

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
– P.J. O’Rourke –

A new word is like a fresh seed sown on the ground of the discussion.
– Ludwig Wittgenstein –

And then Satan said, “Put the alphabet in math.” –

‘Bookworms’ are now almost exclusively known in the secondary and derivative meaning of the word as porers over dry books; but there was a time when the real worms were as ubiquitous as our cockroaches. They would start at the first or last page and tunnel circular holes through the volume, and were cursed by librarians…. They were dignified, like other disagreeable things, with fine Latin names….
The most audacious beast of our days is the cutter-out of plates…. Towards him we feel a ferocity that is merciless. We should like to extract a tooth without anæsthetics for every plate he has purloined.
– “The Sufferings and Death of Books,” Chambers’s Journal of Popular Literature, Science, and Art, 1890 August 30th –

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.
– Fran Lebowitz –

Every writer faces a moment in her career when she realizes that a good part of success has nothing to do with skill or planning, and everything to do with pure, dumb luck. For me, that moment arrived at a party at the Romance Writers of America conference in St. Louis in 1993, when a colleague came to me and asked, “Did you know the heroine on the cover of your newest release has three arms?”
– Christina Dodd – On the Other Hand –

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey –

Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, “In Case of Fire, Throw This in First.” I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.
– Erma Bombeck (At Wit’s End) –

Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.
– John LeCarre –

Here’s a brain twister. Can you use the word ‘capitulated’ in a sentence where it doesn’t mean ‘Your hat’s on backwards’?
– Joe Martin –

If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, “To be clear, do you know how reading works”?
– @bridger_w 
(Bridger Winegar) –

I’m a bookaholic on the road to recovery. Ha, not really. I’m on the road to the bookstore.
– Author unknown –

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
– Steven Wright –

I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”
– Demetri Martin –

I love walking into a bookstore. It’s like all my friends are sitting on shelves, waving their pages at me.
– Tahereh Mafi –

…I struggled through the alphabet as if it had been a bramble-bush; getting considerably worried and scratched by every letter. After that, I fell among those thieves, the nine figures, who seemed every evening to do something new to disguise themselves and baffle recognition.
– Charles Dickens –

It is clear that the books owned the shop rather than the other way about. Everywhere they had run wild and taken possession of their habitat, breeding and multiplying, and clearly lacking any strong hand to keep them down.
– Agatha Christie, The Clocks –

It is a damned poor mind that can’t think of at least two ways of spelling any word.
– Andrew Jackson –

I try to leave out the parts that people skip.
– Elmore Leonard –

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
– Anna Quindlen, “Enough Bookshelves,” New York Times, 7 August 1991 –

Many people, other than the authors, contribute to the making of a book, from the first person who had the bright idea of alphabetic writing through the inventor of movable type to the lumberjacks who felled the trees that were pulped for its printing. It is not customary to acknowledge the trees themselves, though their commitment is total.
– Forsyth and Rada, Machine Learning –

May God forgive me, but the letters of the alphabet frighten me terribly. They are sly, shameless demons – and dangerous! You open the inkwell, release them; they run off – and how will you ever get control of them again!
– Nikos Kazantzakis –

Old or new, the only sign I always try to rid my books of (usually with little success) is the price-sticker that malignant booksellers attach to the backs. These evil white scabs rip off with difficulty, leaving leprous wounds and traces of slime to which adhere the dust and fluff of ages, making me wish for a special gummy hell to which the inventor of these stickers would be condemned.
– Alberto Manguel, The Library at Night –

One of the advantages of reading books is that you get to play with someone else’s imaginary friends, at all hours of the night.
– Dr. SunWolf –

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
– Attributed to Groucho Marx –

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
– Ronald Reagan –

The covers of this book are too far apart.
– Ambrose Bierce –

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
– Mark Twain –

The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.
– Winston Churchill –

There are books in which the footnotes, or the comments scrawled by some reader’s hand in the margin, are more interesting than the text.
– George Santayana, “Imagination” –

There’s nothing to match curling up with a good book when there’s a repair job to be done around the house.
– Joe Ryan –

There is a temperate zone in the mind, between luxurious indolence and exacting work; and it is to this region, just between laziness and labor, that summer reading belongs.
– Henry Ward Beecher –

Think about these words: cease, coin, chic, indict, and discrepancy. In this string of terms, C sounds like S, K, Sh, and in one case it’s silent. Even within one word this letter doesn’t always maintain the same sound.
The fickle nature of this letter did not please everyone. As American English grew in the 1700s, Benjamin Franklin campaigned to remove C from the alphabet altogether, though his efforts did not gain much traction.
– From The Curious Chronicle of the Letter C –

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
– Stephen Wright –

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?
– Fred Stoller –

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
– Mark Twain –

Writing became such a process of discovery that I couldn’t wait to get to work in the morning: I wanted to know what I was going to say.
– Sharon O’Brien –


And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.
– Terry Pratchett –

Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald –

In the family of punctuation where the full stop is daddy and the comma is mummy, and the semicolon quietly practises the piano with crossed hands, the exclamation mark is the big attention-deficit brother who gets over-excited and breaks things and laughs too loudly.
– Lynn Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, pages 137-138 –

…it sometimes seems hurtful to suppress the exclamation mark when – after all – it doesn’t mean any harm to anyone, and is so desperately keen.
– Lynn Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, p 139 –

The punctuation marks you use (and where you put them) can completely change the meaning of what you write. “Twenty-odd ducks” is an estimate of how many are waddling by, but “twenty odd ducks” would not only be a big group, they’d be very strange looking.
– From Twenty-Odd Ducks, by Lynne Truss –